Nothing...

So...

I have been sitting here in my bed all day. Not that doing such a thing is bad, but it is all I have done all week when I am not working. Worse, I really don't want to do anything. And I mean nothing.

Part of my issue is that I have been doing a lot of thinking.

I am 31. My hair is gray. I am overweight. My eyesight is awful. I have a pointless job. I have no money. I have no significant other. I have no drive. No passion. Nothing. Worse, I have been watching some stupid show about people who are my age buying these mansions in the Caribbean. That made me blue, so I switched the channel to some show where it's a young, adventurous guy doing cool, adventurous things. All that made me think about was how I couldn't do any of that. I couldn't get to these far-flung places to begin with, much less make a fire from stones or build a lean-to to sleep under.

And then it went downhill. I got to thinking about all of the things I am not. And that, my lonely reader, is a long list.

I try to come off as a guy who doesn't care that he couldn't fix his own toilet, but it does. I hate that about myself. I have no mechanical skills. They just aren't there. I hate that I suck at sports, that I haven't a clue as to how to hunt, that I don't have an artistic or musical bone in my body, and so on and so forth.

I know I am being stupid, but with nothing to occupy my mind it's all I can think about.

I am not.... a lot.